I have been working with computers and even took formal courses in programming since 1964. I have worked with analog and digital computers and contrary to popular belief there is value to both approaches. I was a late comer to the Web in 1997 and earned my first e-commerce dollar in 2000. I have taken on line courses in programming and Linux system administration. Still, I do not consider myself a know it all expert.
So when I recognized that tracking logs and porn sites was a sophisticated endeavor, I decided that I was good at it, enjoyed it and there was more to know. I signed up for a couple of courses at quickcert.com in Ethical Hacking and Internet Forensics and lord knows my rant is not against them. They have done everything they could to stroke my ego and get me to sign on. The process was painless right up to the point they handed it to Federal Express.
When it approached 2 weeks and I had not got the package, they got me the FedEx tracking number and and I went to the site to find they were processing documents. The last time this happened was when my daughter sent me French cheese that she had ordered on line when it got to Fedex in St. Croix, they sent it to US Customs for inspection. Customs got it on a Friday and started to open it because it was in a foil lined box that could not be x-rayed.
The shit was hiting the fan as they waited for the bomb disposal expert and when they carefully opened it and found French cheese, they were so relieved I guess they went out for a beer and left the cheese in the hot warehouse. By the time I got it on Monday the cheese had all melted into a gooey mess which smelled and tasted like Limburger which I happen to like so I ate it anyway. My daughter was quite appalled as she had worked hard on putting together a very nice and expensive collection of fresh premium cheeses and paid additional for expedited delivery.
Well it seems that the on line record at Fedex showed the course materials were in the possession of The US Customs and Kiddie Porn Agency which I had just observed lie at trial for weeks on end. When I called Fedex to bitch, they put me on hold for hours and in the end told me that they had attempted to deliver to our business address, but I had told them I was moving so they held it for me as a courtesy.
I blurted out one word BULLSHIT, your Tracking Record shows it’s still in customs after a week and I no longer want it. I mean this is printed materials and video Tapes and after a week they should be able to reproduce and print videos and books of every kiddie porn picture in the National Archive of Hashed Kiddie Porn Pics. I can just imagine me signing the delivery ticket for that crap and getting busted.
I called quickcert.com and they thought I was nuts until I told them that Fedex asserted that they had attempted delivery but held it because I was moving and the salesman blurted out one word, BULLSHIT, he couldn’t believe that a human gave that story when the computer showed it was awaiting processing.
Well, I’m sure that they still think I’m a little nuts, but they agreed to take back all their product, inspect it for integrity, repack it and ship it to my American address.
Big Brother certainly is doing a little more than watching.