Aced another ADHD Test

Well my wife is a regular reader (perhaps not a fan) and a firm beliver that I have had ADHD all my life. So while she was surfing the net she went to webmd.com and came up with an ADHD test. There were two scoring profiles. The overall score was anything above 25 was cause for concern and should be checked. The other was a scale of zero to ten. Well, on the attention deficit side, I scored an 8 out of 10 and on hyperactivity I was 9 out of 10. Overall, my score was a 42 which was well above the 25 needed to qualify for medical attention.

Imagine, going 61 rather contented years to find out that I should have been drugged all my life. Maybe that 3-4 hours of wine drinking every night of my life is the medication substitute. I only feel guilty when the consumption exceeds 1 1/2 bottle.

Anyway, I decided to take the CAGE test to determine if my 1/2 to 1 bottle of wine everyday of my life makes me an alcoholic. The first question is do I believe I need to cut back and the answer is almost never except for the calories involved and on those rare occasions where I exceed 1 1/2 bottles. Then I do.

The next question is whether or not I’m annoyued by people who comment on my drinking. First off, no one ever comments; second, the truth never bothers me and third, I rarely care what others think.

The third part is whether I ever feel guilty and the answer is the same as the first – only on those very rare occasions when I exceed 1 1/2 bottles and then I don’t do it for a long time.

The forth part is whether I want a drink in the morning to cure a hangover. First I don’t get hangovers, and also, the idea of a drink in the morning is dumb because a whole day of my life would be wasted and I’m having too much fun with living.

Well either I have very low standards or I’m a simple drunk and not an alcoholic. The one time I went to an AA meeting with a friend who was a drug addict, they kicked me out because I hadn’t fucked up my life enough to share horror stories on the path to redemption. I don’t beat my wife, my kids, miss work or kick the dog. I don’t fall down in guttors, pick fights or get in trouble. I don’t have accidents. I’m just your sort of basic issue mellow drunk.

Oh well I guess there is no cure for a disease I don’t seem to have so I may as well keep drinking my wine every night.

4 Responses to “Aced another ADHD Test”

  1. Mike E Says:

    One question to consider when taking these ADD tests:

    Which came first — the disorder or the mixed salt amphetamine complex (the active ingredient in Adderall) that’s prescribed to treat it?

    I am highly suspicious. This, despite being a gigantic fan of ADD medication…

  2. themiddlemanager Says:

    I am going to go out on a limb and say I only feel GOOD when my wine consumption exceeds 1 and 1/2 bottles of wine! 🙂

    I get hangovers if I go absolutely nuts, but scrambled eggs and bacon usually clear that right up. Not a big “hair of the dog that bit cha” fan.

    The only time I drink in the morning is in Jamaica, so that is a special occasion, and never to get drunk, only to get a little happy and maintain that all day. A nice, relaxing, Parrothead, type feeling would be the best way to describe it. But that is a different world all together…

  3. Rachael Black Says:

    Oh god I miss my Cabernet and Petit Syrah. Been sober for 11 years, but I was a “high bottom” drunk. I friggin hate that phrase. As if still having a house, car and job didn’t make the pain of living, well, pain.

    Please raise a glass for moi. I DID suffer hangovers although never drank in the morning or even every day.
    I just never knew if I’d have one glass or two bottles and ohhhh the black-outs.
    Never heard of an AA meeting that kicked someone out. Are you sure it wasn’t a sex addicts anonymous meeting? 😉

    Am not adhd but bi-polar and oh baby do i have an obsession with the weight, an eating disorder and all kinds weird dark corridors of the mind as well.
    At any rate, if you are functioning in the business of the everyday mundane, cannot think of anything about your alcohol consumption that affects your life or the life of your family then keep sipping that yummy vino and rock on.

    Love your blog

    Peace, Meds and Late Night Ice Cream,

    Rachael

  4. fatsavage Says:

    If you wandered to St. Croix in the eighties you might have thought you came to Alcoholics Unanimous where the beverage of choice was the most mellow rum in the world for 80 cents a bottle and a drink in a social environment was only $1

    There were many reports of people being too drunk to move so they pissed at their bar stool or people eating breakfast after an all night binge and passing out to sleep with their face in a plate of bacon and eggs.

    When I drink to excess – I must sleep and that means in a secure place where I can put my hand on my crotch and use the other arm to hug my pillow. Even though I drank a lot – my body would not allow me to be a competitive drunkard so I looked good only by comparison.

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