Well my wife is a regular reader (perhaps not a fan) and a firm beliver that I have had ADHD all my life. So while she was surfing the net she went to webmd.com and came up with an ADHD test. There were two scoring profiles. The overall score was anything above 25 was cause for concern and should be checked. The other was a scale of zero to ten. Well, on the attention deficit side, I scored an 8 out of 10 and on hyperactivity I was 9 out of 10. Overall, my score was a 42 which was well above the 25 needed to qualify for medical attention.
Imagine, going 61 rather contented years to find out that I should have been drugged all my life. Maybe that 3-4 hours of wine drinking every night of my life is the medication substitute. I only feel guilty when the consumption exceeds 1 1/2 bottle.
Anyway, I decided to take the CAGE test to determine if my 1/2 to 1 bottle of wine everyday of my life makes me an alcoholic. The first question is do I believe I need to cut back and the answer is almost never except for the calories involved and on those rare occasions where I exceed 1 1/2 bottles. Then I do.
The next question is whether or not I’m annoyued by people who comment on my drinking. First off, no one ever comments; second, the truth never bothers me and third, I rarely care what others think.
The third part is whether I ever feel guilty and the answer is the same as the first – only on those very rare occasions when I exceed 1 1/2 bottles and then I don’t do it for a long time.
The forth part is whether I want a drink in the morning to cure a hangover. First I don’t get hangovers, and also, the idea of a drink in the morning is dumb because a whole day of my life would be wasted and I’m having too much fun with living.
Well either I have very low standards or I’m a simple drunk and not an alcoholic. The one time I went to an AA meeting with a friend who was a drug addict, they kicked me out because I hadn’t fucked up my life enough to share horror stories on the path to redemption. I don’t beat my wife, my kids, miss work or kick the dog. I don’t fall down in guttors, pick fights or get in trouble. I don’t have accidents. I’m just your sort of basic issue mellow drunk.
Oh well I guess there is no cure for a disease I don’t seem to have so I may as well keep drinking my wine every night.