Attractive is a funny word. When most people hear the phrase, “look at that attractive woman”, they immediately think of someone’s appearance providing pleasure or delight. Now there are other equally valid meanings of the word such as arousing interest like an attractive idea or having the quality of attracting like an attractive nuisance.
In our family circle, my wife and kids have learned that when I refer to an attractive person, they are likely to see a 300 pound woman or guy in a G sting bikini. The other family issue is that I am totally attracted to watching healthy, morbidly obese, people. I sit there disgruntled that the person seems to be functioning and living a happy life and I can’t figure why when I get obese, I get Farts, Sharts, LAS, Acid reflux, brown underwear and TFTF.
So the other night at the Marriott Frenchman’s Reef my wife and I were at dinner when she said an attractive couple arrived and I would have to look over my right shoulder. Hell, she knows I’m blind in my right eye and can’t see anything unless I turn full around to look. I faked looking for our waitress and turned around with an impatient look. There, before my eyes, was a morbidly obese guy with about a 66 inch waist weighing in at near 500 pounds and with him was a skinny woman. Now I do admit to being attracted to skinny woman so I found her as attractive as him.
My wife remains utterly appalled at my baser instinct and pointed out the tattoos and the straight red, white and black hair. Alright, the skinny woman wasn’t born to money but she certainly appeared to adapt as she sat at the window seat at the Harbor View restaurant. Their was soft quite conversation and she ate with a knife and fork. All in all, not bad behavior for a paid weekend delight.
Talk about jealously, he had surf and turf (about ½ pound each of beef and lobster) with potatoes, drinks and desert while I had my 6 oz of tuna with rice and wine and skipped dessert. Why can’t I eat like that and stay happy?
I asked my wife if the skinny woman might be his daughter or his wife and my wife pointed out that his clothes were custom made, hers were Target specials, there were no wedding rings, his hair was styled while her’s was cut and if you ignored the aging effects of obesity, they were both about the same age.
Oh well, I guess money can buy you love or at least a close approximation.