I don’t care what anyone says, money can buy you love or at least a sexually active weekend companion. This is not an epiphany as the young people say but a firmly entrenched factoid in my knowledge base. Many years ago, I worked for a sweet-talking, hard-living man who ate, drank and then used drugs so he could stay awake and drink some more. He was about 400 pounds but still had a sexual appetite to match his desire for food and booze – when he wanted a weekend companion he rented one – variety was the spice of life as every weekend was a new rentee.
His appetite was incredible – he used to go to dinner after 6 martinis then find one of those places outside New York that served 22 oz steaks and eat the whole thing followed by coffee and desert. One time I talked him into rehab at 9 am. after he had slept for a few hours and had a few cups of coffee and when they tested his blood alcohol level it was 0.35 and he tested positive for cocaine and marijuana. At 0.50 a person is so comatose you can preform painless brain surgery on them.
Actually he forced me to evaluate my lifestyle and while I occasionally ate and competitively drank with him, I got in shape and cut way back on booze. He wanted a drinking and eating partner to prove he was normal and I was his first choice. Fortunately, I had my wife and a couple of young kids and developed more self control. He also tried to drag me into his sexual escapades such as strip clubs (enjoyable), whore houses (stupid) and group activities with people who out weighted me (disgusting). I was a true Boy Scout at the time and rejected everything (except the strip clubs) although I must admit my assessments remain pretty much the same today even though I fail the Boy Scout test.
I really hadn’t thought about that chapter in my life where there was a constant and unlimited availability of food, woman, drink and drugs but maybe I should. It seems when it’s all freely available because you have money or hang with someone with money, it’s just not all that attractive. Perhaps thats why so few of the really rich are fat although they seem to have there fair share of sexcapades.
My decadent weekend in St. Thomas got me to thinking on the rich and shamelessly obese people and I’ll have more thoughts tomorrow.