Archive for December, 2006

Resolve to blog!

December 31, 2006

There are many reasons not to blog: It takes time, it takes research, it’s hard work to be creative and it’s harder work to dump mental limits to your writing skills or your desire to know yourself. However, it opens new doors to wisdom as you search your own tags; it provides insights into your life and the lives of others which can all change your life and lifestyle – hopefully for the better.

Not all bloggers are compatible just like all people are not compatible. You will discover saints and sinners and perhaps find your own path. I have chosen the gonzo style which according to wikipedia occurs when “an author cannot remove himself from the subject he investigates.”

I started with discussions of obesity, its effect on my body and dieting. I have drifted into discussions of ADHD and “junk science”. The one area I will probably never discuss is love. Too many people who love me read this blog and I probably don’t ever want to be truthful in this area for fear of misinterpreting the emotions of others and hurting them.

However, limiting myself to truthful observations on obesity, ADHD, exercise, handwork philosophy and junk science has been enjoyable for me and hopefully for you the reader.

My wish for all who take up blogging, dieting and philosophy is for you to resolve to enjoy the journey. Enjoy both your successes and human failures and stop working so hard at success alone.

I have talked to respected writers and artists about how they could produce both good and bad works and the answer is always the same – All my work is my best effort and excellent. It is your appreciation and understanding which is variable. Now that I have started Blogging on a regular basis, I can only hope to make the same claim.

I wish for all my readers to have a Happy successful New Year in whatever you hope to achieve!

ADHD – A Message to Parents and Grandparents

December 29, 2006

Dear Readers,

When your 61 years old and have lived a lifetime of freedom of expression and actions, the idea that you are abnormal is sort of cute and it’s not too bothersome to find out that you probably have had severe ADHD all your life.

In fact, teachers, ministers, school administrators had all warned my parents that I was not normal, had severe antisocial tendencies, was disruptive and lead others astray. In my working career, I’ve been accused of being a long ranger and not a team player and told that I just don’t fit into structured organizations. My children thought some of my antics were embarrassing.

In fact if you have ADHD, in all your activities, you just don’t believe that you have done anything abnormal or unusual and can’t understand how others can compromise their standards just to get along..

At age 5, I got in a fight and sent another kid to the hospital with a broken foot. This is the same year I was so excited about the snow that I went out sledding alone, in the middle of the night and hit a tree in the dark jabbing a sled runner into my leg. By forth grade I hated my teacher, was kicked out of school, and the IQ test gave a substandard 90 IQ. In fifth grade I loved my male role model teacher excelled in school, and they tried to skip me a grade. By 7th grade, I hated the retarded male bully teacher and was kicked out again.

The pattern was repetitious. I got booted again in ninth and eleventh and only lasted 29 days until I was kicked out of college where I was attending on a full scholarship for brains and football. I eventually graduated with honors. This abbreviated version ignores getting shot at 14, spelunking without resources or telling anyone that I was in an uncharted, unrecognized cave or going cross country alone at age 16 and neglecting to call or write my mother while going to Mexico where I promised not to go. Oh yeah we used to climb prohibited cliffs, and dive off the cliffs into a shallow river.

Did I forget to mention, hammering on bullets, building zip guns and black powder guns, making rockets and bombs and sort of being generally curious about all chemicals and electricity. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the hot dog electrocutor where you put two nails in a board and put each half of a lamp cord to a nail, put the hot dog on and plug it in. The hot dog is electrocuted and ready to eat in about 30 seconds if you ignore all the zinc from nails that gets into the meat. Most of that was done before I was 12 years old and discovered football. The list really goes on forever like use a airesol hair spray can as a flame thrower or teaching my daughter to build a bomb as her science fair project because her high school science teacher was stupid – he never did figure out it was a bomb but my son did and he wanted me to teach him too.

I repeat for emphasis; When you have ADHD, you just don’t believe that you have done anything abnormal, unusual or wrong.

Now since I grew up poor, doctors, shrinks and medicine was out of the question and this was before the welfare revolution of the 60’s that got everything for everybody. So where did that leave me and society? Only two things saved me and allowed me to cope with a world I would never really understand that is sports (or other high energy activities) and love. My mother loved and loves me like no other and taught me to love in the same manner. She would beat me with any handy device; broom, wire hanger, hair brush or cooking pan but would defend us to the hilt to outsiders. She would treat our wounds, both physical and mental, hug us and put us to bed. She lived her dreams through us and insisted we all get college degrees. Four of us came out of poverty and all have advanced degrees. Mom got her high school diploma after we all graduated from college and were married. Obviously, Mom believed in tough love.

Football was the other normalizing influence. Imagine 1 hour of high intensity activity from August to December every year from 12 years old on. I rarely got in trouble during football season. All I had to do to get praise was to hurt other people. Instead of being yelled at people were cheering. I loved it and was natural at it. I had endless energy, was angry at the world and enjoyed hurting the people who tormented me. I made all conference, all county and all state and got a 100% scholarship to the University of Pennsylvania. I had to behave in the fall semester but that was a price for all that adulation. Obviously, my coaches believed in tough love and I towed the line to play the game.

In college I fell passionately in love with my one and only wife and I wanted to excel for her. I found out that scholarship and publication were just one more game to win. After a screwed up first year, I made deans list graduated with honors and went to grad school. I wrestled for three years and starved myself into submission to stay focused. It all worked for me.

Neither of our children had ADHD and indications were almost the opposite because of an abnormal ability to stay intensely focused. However, my daughter married a guy just like dear old Dad i.e. He also has untreated ADHD. His experience is different that mine and I wouldn’t dare to describe it for him, but since there is a tendency for ADHD to run in families his oldest daughter has it. We all share the feeling that ADHD is real but nobody should be drugged to control irrational exuberance. Hell the world is depressing enough without killing the spirit of hyperactive people.

Like her father and grandfather, our little girl does well in school when she loves her teacher and poorly when she doesn’t. If she has unused energy, she gets in trouble. She now has taken up karate and moved up a few belts but more importantly she is doing it with her father’s participation, love and discipline. Yes my son-in-law and daughter have learned to be much firmer and are developing an appreciation for the concept of tough love.

When it comes to offering advice, first and foremost, I am not a Doctor. I visit with my friend who is a Doctor every week, but as a doctor, I visit him in his office about 6 times a year for flue shots, annual check-ups and STD’s With his advise I have tried medicine to treat chronic pain, high blood pressure and the other ailments. Other than vitamins, aspirin, alcohol and my blood pressure medicine, I avoid excess medication because I don’t like the way they alter my body, mind or libido. With respect to ADHD, there are Doctor’s who believe in diet, medicines and behavior modification. Doctor’s are human just like everyone else.

I have not written a book on ADHD and my observations are based on the lives of 3 individuals between the ages of 6 and 61. Those who have read my blog for a while realize that I do a fair amount of research. I personally believe that an infinite reserve of love, the ability to guide with discipline and involving the child in a high energy high reward (fathers love or coaches praise) activity is a good way to channel the activity. However, who is to ever be able to judge which approach would yield a better more productive member of society. The choice is the Fat Savage with a lifetime of ADHD and self medication with wine or a societally approved version of the drugged human. One path will always be not taken and there is really no way to compare the real individual to the other potential individual. This is the same as a doppleganger (an evil twin in an alternate universe) where no one can tell which is the good twin and which is the bad.

I have never had the experience of working with or being friendly with a person on Ritalin but keep in mind the original and repeated warning.”When you have ADHD, you just don’t believe that you have done anything abnormal, unusual or wrong.” A child’s desire to argue when reprimanded may be because he has not yet been drugged into complete submission. Sounds like he needs some firm tough love or more drugs.


The Fat Savage

False Hope is Better Than No Hope!!!

December 28, 2006

According to Dante, the sign over the Gate of Hell is inscribed the famous phrase, “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate” or “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” Now if you think about it for more than a few minutes, life without hope probably is the definition of Hell. No matter how poor we are, how sick or how fat, we can start a new day refreshed by our hopes that everything will be all right.

Evidence shows that American’s may be living on False Hope and that my claiming to be driven by hope is not totally unusual. More than one in five Americans believe the best way to get rich is to win the lottery, 38 percent of those earning less than $25,000 a year say winning the lottery was the most practical way to gain wealth, and 31 percent over the age of 65 were also more likely to believe winning the lottery was more practical than saving each month.

So let’s see, from my blog on Fear, Hope and Reality, almost 1/3 of Americans rely on the hope of winning to overcome their fear of loosing or facing the reality that there chances of winning are lower than their chances of getting hit by lightening. No wonder this is a suckers game and will go on forever.

So even though I dwell, in an unrealistic world fueled by false hope, I am forced to face Voltaire’s reality that “This is the best of all possible world’s.” For those of you who don’t remember, he was a French mathematician who invented solitaire and wrote porn (Candide). The joke in his quote is of course we live in the only possible world unless you count Mike E’s and that it’s unrealistic to believe that I’ll drop another 30 pounds without a lot of suffering and hard work.

Scissors, Paper, Stone: A Metaphor for Life.

December 27, 2006

Anyone who was ever really a kid or who had kids knows the childhood game where scissors win by cutting paper, paper wins by covering stone and stone wins by smashing the scissors. You get to chose your role and the only way to lose on a regular basis is to always choose the same one or to be very unlucky.

For the first time ever, my wife and I went out to dinner on Christmas Day. And it was a spectacular event. The food and wine were excellent and yes I engaged in gluttony for the second day in a row, I am blowing the hell out of the good effect of the fast but having a great time doing it. The reason that I am gaining weight is exactly the opposite of why I lost it; I’m eating too much and not working hard enough.

Now the epiphany on the children’s game is that as adults, Hope, Fear, and Reality replace scissors paper and stone. Our hopes will always conquer our fears if we believe strongly enough, our fears will destroy our reality if we are scared enough and reality is always there to conquer our false hopes and keep us stable. The only way to lose in the game of life is to chose one path exclusively over the other or to be very unlucky.

Yes, I chose to live in a world or hope while ignoring fear and reality. Like Peter Pan, I envision myself conquering new worlds and remaining forever young. I suppose that if I were really grown up I would learn to balance fear, hope and reality. I might have a retirement plan, a pension and all that other good stuff. However, as a child I usually chose scissors or stone because using paper was a sissy way to win.

I never did learn to play nice with others and probably never learned to play the game of life.

Aced another ADHD Test

December 26, 2006

Well my wife is a regular reader (perhaps not a fan) and a firm beliver that I have had ADHD all my life. So while she was surfing the net she went to and came up with an ADHD test. There were two scoring profiles. The overall score was anything above 25 was cause for concern and should be checked. The other was a scale of zero to ten. Well, on the attention deficit side, I scored an 8 out of 10 and on hyperactivity I was 9 out of 10. Overall, my score was a 42 which was well above the 25 needed to qualify for medical attention.

Imagine, going 61 rather contented years to find out that I should have been drugged all my life. Maybe that 3-4 hours of wine drinking every night of my life is the medication substitute. I only feel guilty when the consumption exceeds 1 1/2 bottle.

Anyway, I decided to take the CAGE test to determine if my 1/2 to 1 bottle of wine everyday of my life makes me an alcoholic. The first question is do I believe I need to cut back and the answer is almost never except for the calories involved and on those rare occasions where I exceed 1 1/2 bottles. Then I do.

The next question is whether or not I’m annoyued by people who comment on my drinking. First off, no one ever comments; second, the truth never bothers me and third, I rarely care what others think.

The third part is whether I ever feel guilty and the answer is the same as the first – only on those very rare occasions when I exceed 1 1/2 bottles and then I don’t do it for a long time.

The forth part is whether I want a drink in the morning to cure a hangover. First I don’t get hangovers, and also, the idea of a drink in the morning is dumb because a whole day of my life would be wasted and I’m having too much fun with living.

Well either I have very low standards or I’m a simple drunk and not an alcoholic. The one time I went to an AA meeting with a friend who was a drug addict, they kicked me out because I hadn’t fucked up my life enough to share horror stories on the path to redemption. I don’t beat my wife, my kids, miss work or kick the dog. I don’t fall down in guttors, pick fights or get in trouble. I don’t have accidents. I’m just your sort of basic issue mellow drunk.

Oh well I guess there is no cure for a disease I don’t seem to have so I may as well keep drinking my wine every night.

It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas!

December 24, 2006

Didn’t report, but Friday was actually a day of fasting even though I took a young college girl out to lunch. She ate half a chicken 1 1/2 cups seasoned rice, 4oz of beans and a Johnny cake. I had a glass of club soda. We had a great time catching up on the past 2 years. She didn’t care that I was fasting as she had done the fast and vegan thing after she gained the freshman 15.

For the day, I had 2 small tomatoes and at night 1/2 Cornish hen with a baked potato. Naturally, the Fat Savage put both butter and sour cream on it and washed it down with a bottle of chianti. While fasting during the day, I wasn’t terribly productive because I had to stop and purchase a new saw and had the two hour lunch break but it was enough to wake up at 219.6 lbs.

Yesterday, was a coffee, and big breakfast administrative day. It was planned as such because we had to satisfy all the pre-Christmas customers and also had the company Christmas party. I had 4 beers and the same lunch described above. After the party, I shopped and then my wife had the bright idea of going swimming on the winter solstices. It was chilly but not cold, so I actually swam for about 1/2 hour. This was all before 6 pm.

I skipped dinner and only had one glass of wine, watched Mary Poppens (The Original where everybody had ADHD) and loved it. This 40 year old classic has always been my model for parenting and raising children.

This morning I weighed in at 219.6 lbs and as I discussed with my Doctor yesterday morning, the new plateau reached by fasting appears stable. I can maintain it by mini fasts where I don’t eat all day and put out incredible amounts of energy doing manual labor on the days I skip breakfast and coffee.

I showed him the belt which I had been wearing since August which is down 5 inches and I am still officially obese. He suggests that if fasting all day causes me to do manual labor and I can afford the time away from the desk, there is a lot less harm in fasting and working hard than the is in abdominal obesity. I should just consider alternating the feast and famine to balance my needs for work or management. And why not start the new year with another fast to drop another 10 pounds.

Why Not Indeed?

Still more Sinner than Saint!

December 22, 2006

Well yesterday was the first day of Break Fast including breakfast, coffee and all the good stuff.  After work (Managerial and Boring), I had a snack of steak and macaroni and cheese.  What the Hell, it tasted good.   Then went out for a glass of wine with my wife.  Damn, It was a party night and the wine never stopped flowing.

I purchased one 6 oz glass and 4 more came our way paid for by friends.  Good God, I got home safe but a little tipsy and got the “hungries”.  Remember that duck cooked last Sunday, well the other half screamed out to me last night so I put it out of it’s misery and ate it all.  Who says weight lost while fasting isn’t permanent.  I got up this morning and weighed 220.9

There is a God and She loves me.

I will try to fast during the daytime again today so that I can get some manual labor done.

ADHD Fidgeting Shouldn’t be a Symptom

December 22, 2006

I found out on my trip to St. Thomas that Fidgeting should not be a symptom of anything., My wife and I were having dinner at Marrott’s Frenchman Reef Hotel and the meal was simply perfect. She had felet (beef) cooked very rare with a blue cheese sause, potatoes and asparagus. I had an Ahi Tuna seared on both sides to just warm it served with flavored rice and asparagus. Naturally we shared a bottle of red wine to wash it all down. The view of the St. Thom,as Harbor was just perfect from our table for two located next to the wall of glass.

So why did my wife fiudget. We were seated in the most ergometrically intolerable chairs that Marriott could design. The chairs were perfect for the first hour, and then you started to notice the lack of seat padding, the unpadded arms and back and you fidgeted enough to know it was time to leave.

As a former restauranture, this makes perfect sences if the chair is so comfortable that people linger all night you only sell one meal per seat. This one meal per seat could happen because the cooks are slow or the service was bad but this was definately not the case. So the only way to move satisfied customers out is to design a chair that instantaniously turns uncomfortable after 1 hour. Then you can serve 3-4 meals per night per seat because diners don’t linger yet they still leave satisfied.

Amazingy, Im really not pissed at Marriott for this epithany – the service, food and ambience were excellent and the price was reasonable. I’m only pointing out that fidgeting is a poor indicator of any disease (ADHD) because under the right circumstances, everybody fidgets.

PS Total weight gain for the weekend or beer drinking, beachparties breakfast and dinner out, abnd coctails and coinversations at all hours of the day and night – only 3 pounds and you just got to do it sometimes but by Wednesday morning, I had lost all of it do to my protective plateau which is keeping me at 226 or BMI of 35.

Fasting, Day 6 – Those damn weight loss plateau’s

December 21, 2006

Yesterday was a screwed up day. I started out with a strong mental commitment to fasting and manual labor. Both are hard enough without the mental commitment. I skipped coffee and when invited to a business breakfast, I had a fruit cup and tea. Imagine 1 day of temptation and self discipline.

After breakfast, my wife begged me to help organize the production at her business. She has to completely clean, press and individually wrap 3000 garments before Christmas. Now, the nine woman who work for her have a different focus as between the group about 2/3 are party animals and between the nine, they have 31 children. Once again all the ease of herding cats.

Managing is more of a focus job than manual labor and this should have been one of the days where I loaded up on a big breakfast and lots of coffee to sedate my hyperactive side (ADHD) into submission. But the mental commitment to fasting was already in place. By mid afternoon, I was constantly fidgeting, and trying to find physical things to do. The day would have been a total waste except for the ICVA which was pleasurable.

Now I continued my fast and despite eating nothing the day before, only had room for a very light meal (a bowl of soup and ¾ sandwich) and only ½ bottle of wine. This is the first time I ever left food on my plate in a restaurant. When I woke up this morning, I was 219.5, the same as yesterday.

The moral to the story is that with my body, there is no sense to starving if you can’t do manual labor.

Well today, I once again have to play manager so I quit the fast on purpose. This was actually planned while I spent the restless afternoon yesterday. Coffee, breakfast and managerial obligations will all be in sync. So we will see what tomorrow brings in terms of weight. I’m not too worried but I wouldn’t want to gain the 7.5 pounds That I lost with my six day fast.

Fasting Day 5, Ooops!

December 20, 2006

Yesterday ended up being an accidental all day fast. Seems like I was able to maintain my manic hyperactivity and was doing construction around the house and trying to get it in shape for the holidays and the family visit. About 3 pm, I went back to my wife’s business and found a mess. One of her employees is resisting a new supervisor and not only didn’t work but left the staged work for others a total mess. The only way to correct it was to do her half day’s work and I finished about 7pm.

When I got home, my wife decided to cook on her newly installed gas stove. I had installed it without directions as part of my days work. In this case, it was not my fault as there were no directions with the stove. Well nothing worked but at least there were no gas leaks. I drank wine while patiently waiting and at 9 o’clock, she ate the uncooked open face sausage (Cooked previously) and mozzerella (not melted) sandwich on an untoasted roll and since I had finished the wine and 9 pm is way too late for me to eat, said the hell with it and went to bed.

Hey, it works for me. Down to 219.5 lbs or a loss of 7.5 pounds in 5 days. People can bitch all the want about fasting but the fact is it works. Especially, when I skip breakfast, stay off the cofee and keep active all day.

P.S. I take my vitamins and calcium everyday.