Students Fatter than Turkey After Thanksgiving Break!

Now everybody has heard of the Freshman 15, the supposed weight gain suffered by growing young people in the freshman year and that’s supposed to be an issue for scientists to study and present papers on in front of the Obesity Society. Hell, I gained the freshman forty as professionals bulked me up for football at the training table. Even today I remain an overachiever in my ability to gain weight.

A new major issue of concern as presented in a paper at the annual meeting of the obesity society is the weight gain by students when they return home for the Thanksgiving holiday and gain an average of 1.1 pounds. I’m trying to put my weight gain over last Labor Day in perspective. I started at 247 and three weeks later I was down to 224 – I took a long weekend with my son and we ate early, often and late while washing it all down with beer, wine, and rum. After about 4 days, I felt bloated and decided to buy a scale for a house warming – The new scale said I had gained 17 pounds. Well everybody said it was impossible, so we took the scale back and bought another one – That’s right, I gained 17 pounds in 4 days as measured on both scales.

Now that I’ve adapted to my new Fat Savage Lifestyle, I sort of eat what I want and leave the parties early before I go into eating and drinking overdrive. Yesterday (Thanksgiving), I behaved had a good time, ate turkey, wine, beer, stuffing, lobster (2 tails), potatoes and gravy – the works. I went home early and quit eating. When I weighed myself this morning, I only gained 3 pounds and was happy until I read on cnn.com that the obesity society is worried about a 1 pound gain over the holidays. Go figure, more junk science that someone’s earning a living off of and getting published at the same time.

One Response to “Students Fatter than Turkey After Thanksgiving Break!”

  1. Mike E Says:

    re ‘I remain an over-achiever in my ability to gain weight.’

    That is the signature non-judgmental Obesity Cult Hero one liner!

    Right On.

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