Archive for November, 2006

Fat Savages and Skinny Bitches

November 28, 2006

Now I have to admit that I’ve always been attracted to Skinny Woman but in this case, I’m referring to the book Skinny Bitch. I do have very strange reading tastes from Misquoting Jesus to wierd diet books. As wierd goes, this book tops the list. They have chapters on toxic food additives, slaughter houses and all kinds of disgusting things that are supposed to scare you into becoming a vegan. Well I can still look a cow in the eye, (Kosher) Kill it, and eat it so I guess I really am a guiltless fat savage.

My favorite chapter is one they call “pooping” which is only three short pages long. Hell, my original posts on LAS and Sharts cover more space and that didn’t even touch this indelicate subject. Their fundamental premise is “food in” minus “food out” equals weight gain and a good diet makes pooping easier. I agree, but as my posts on Acid Reflux points out, there are quite a few ways that food can leave the body.

What possessed me? I’m more Sinner than Saint!

November 26, 2006

When I first quit smoking 20 years ago, I sought knowledge and help without drugs, religion or the Internet. There were no patches, pills, support groups or very many books on the subject and the one cult that promised success had sworn all paying members to secrecy. So I read about the 12 steps and AA. Now one of the tenants of AA was that you believe in god who was all powerful and who’s help you would need to quit drinking. What were you supposed to do if you didn’t believe in God? The answer was “pretend as if.”

So, as I started my new quest on self improvement, I decided that a spiritual path was also advisable. I purchased The Gospel of Judas which was a pretty cool book and it was non fiction. It is written from the perspective of a Gnostic Judas who knew that the gross body was an impediment to the divinity within us and the only way for Christ to be divine was to be crucified and rise from the dead. So he helped Jesus reach his goal. The other dumber apostles vilified Judas and started the Catholic Church. I was so excited that I even bought the National Geographic issue devoted to the discovery and restoration of the Judas gospel.

I was suckered in to the above book, because I read another very well written book by Bart Ehrman, Misquoting Jesus Both books were so good, that I was beginning to feel one with God.

Now I knew that I was sadly lacking in knowledge of Gnostics and purchased a book called The Gnostics. If I thought saying kind things would get you to buy the book and up my revenues from Amazon, I would, but truth be told I quit reading after 66 pages when I found out I wasn’t spiritual enough to be a gnostic. It seems that Gnostics use knowledge to seek the inner light of spiritual awakening. I really got excited when I read the fist half of the gnostic psalm which follows:

“Everyone who seeks the truth from true wisdom will make himself wings so as to fly”. Now that really describes me – I’m studying everything about obesity and gonzo writing that I can and I knew I was on the right path. It was a perfectly beautiful spiritual sentiment until you read the second half which is “fleeing the lust that scorches the spirit of men.” Shit, if I could really fly, other that hang gliding which was cool, I would be like Icarus and try to fly to the sun like the gods. Upon feeling slightly scorched, I decided to check on my perfection as a sinner and looked up the Seven Deadly Sins:

Pride is excessive belief in one’s own abilities. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity. Hell I got that knocked. You can’t even want to be a gonzo writer without pride.

Envy
is the desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, or situation. Hey once again – I lust over the superior writing skills and success of others and I envy all who are skinnier than me and can eat and drink as they want.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires. I did not get to be the Fat Savage by missing this sin.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body. Anyone who read my first blog knows I am a world class sex maniac who learned to fuck from every conceivable positions so I could keep on fucking up to a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 40. When I got To To Fat To Fuck, I invented the Fat Savage Diet so I could get back in shape to fuck some more.

Anger is obvious, with my weight I have high blood pressure which goes off when ever it wants to or needs to.

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. I’m not too sure about this but It probably counts that I totally ignore the spiritual, don’t tithe and love to earn a good living so I can indulge in my carnal comforts.

Sloth
is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work. Well my desire for physical work comes and goes and aside from this one ill planned interlude, I pretty much ignore the godly area and defer to all the self proclaimed saints.

It seems in the area of the Seven Deadly Sins, I do well with a fair amount of ability in each area. What the hell, if you can’t be a self sacrificing aesthetic saint, you may as well be a perfect sinner. If you’re gonna burn in hell for eternity for one sin, you may as well burn for repeated occurrences of all of them.

Students Fatter than Turkey After Thanksgiving Break!

November 24, 2006

Now everybody has heard of the Freshman 15, the supposed weight gain suffered by growing young people in the freshman year and that’s supposed to be an issue for scientists to study and present papers on in front of the Obesity Society. Hell, I gained the freshman forty as professionals bulked me up for football at the training table. Even today I remain an overachiever in my ability to gain weight.

A new major issue of concern as presented in a paper at the annual meeting of the obesity society is the weight gain by students when they return home for the Thanksgiving holiday and gain an average of 1.1 pounds. I’m trying to put my weight gain over last Labor Day in perspective. I started at 247 and three weeks later I was down to 224 – I took a long weekend with my son and we ate early, often and late while washing it all down with beer, wine, and rum. After about 4 days, I felt bloated and decided to buy a scale for a house warming – The new scale said I had gained 17 pounds. Well everybody said it was impossible, so we took the scale back and bought another one – That’s right, I gained 17 pounds in 4 days as measured on both scales.

Now that I’ve adapted to my new Fat Savage Lifestyle, I sort of eat what I want and leave the parties early before I go into eating and drinking overdrive. Yesterday (Thanksgiving), I behaved had a good time, ate turkey, wine, beer, stuffing, lobster (2 tails), potatoes and gravy – the works. I went home early and quit eating. When I weighed myself this morning, I only gained 3 pounds and was happy until I read on cnn.com that the obesity society is worried about a 1 pound gain over the holidays. Go figure, more junk science that someone’s earning a living off of and getting published at the same time.

You Can’t Be a Fat Environmentalist

November 23, 2006

Well, I love the great outdoors, I hate litter, and pollution in any form is a waste of corporate profits. Think about it! If you drive a big SUV instead of my sporty MR-2 Spider, you waste a lot more money on gas and don’t have as much fun as I do living life on the edge. But I just found out from Fox News that if I lose 100 pounds, I can save 18 gallons of gas a year. ( This is is the same Fox News that brought us OJ and “If I Did It”)

Even though I envision myself as The Fat Savage, the biggest weight loss I can conceive is about 50 pounds which would make me lighter than Ive been since 1963. If that were a goal and I achieved it, I could save $20 dollars a year. Hell, I save that much each day I quit drinking so thats hardly a motivator for either action. The average American is only 25 pounds heavier than they were in 1960 so the savings would be less than $10 per person per year for a nation of Fitness Fanatics.

The original motivator for me was that I got To Fat To Fuck and just the thought of being a self imposed fat eunuch is enough to keep me in a new lifestyle that keeps me modestly in shape.

Occum’s Razor – SIDS & Junk Science

November 13, 2006

This site is not about SIDS, it’s about obesity and a personal quest to conquer it. That being said it’s just hard for me to resist a good battle over junk science. My comments last post were really not about what causes SIDS or the potential for a cure, the comments were directed at research that tends to blame the victim without a cause-effect link.

If you are from a Blue State it is probably fashionable to believe that the causes of SIDS have their roots in poverty. Young teenage mothers living at home in poverty might allow their babies to be exposed to Tobacco smoke and even worse contact with other airborne drugs. Due to poverty there might not be a regulation hard mattress crib for the child and the lack of neonatal care would mean the undereducated child lets her baby sleep on its stomach to keep it from choking on its own puke. They might even lay the child down for a nap on the living room couch with all its soft surfaces or even worse with her little sister who loves to watch the child and sleep with it.

We learn of the Blue state cure from SIDS.org where young poor momma’s should “Avoid crowds. Carefully clean anything that comes in contact with the baby. Have people wash their hands before holding or playing with your baby.” Hell white people from New Jersey don’t ask their relatives to do that and they even lay their kids on a bed stuffed between two pillows when visiting friends and relatives. As a 62 year old Fat Savage, no one black or white, rich or poor has ever asked me to wash my hands before holding a nasty rug rat with a runny nose who was about to puke, shit or piss on me.

While waiting to eliminate poverty and increase neonatal education, the Red State cure is to engage in basic research and let the wonders of modern science cure all with drugs that profit the pharmaceutical companies based on research funded by taxpayers.

Now I’m not sure if I’m Red or Blue as I went to a University that used both colors but I learned to respect the wisdom of Occum’s Razor which can be paraphrased to: “All things being equal, the simplest solution tends to be the best one.” I also believe that any research that blames the victim should not be included in any list of equal choices.

Let’s explore “she got raped because her skirt was too short.” Now woman get raped in India and Pakistan who are fully clothed so that’s hardly a credible explanation. He got killed because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. If this were true it would be a universal defense for the guilty. How about “her kid died because she was born poor”?

I don’t know what causes SIDS but I do know that any research which simply places the blame on the victim is not good research. After all who wants to tell a person that your kid died because the Fat Savage didn’t wash his hands? In a Blue State should we charge the Fat Savage with murder or in a script for “Law and Order” charge him with depraved indifference and manslaughter?

This is really too much bullshit for any savage to understand and it detracts from legitimate research.

SIDS, PTSD and the Limits of Science.

November 7, 2006

The one thing I missed about quitting my blog and stopping my diet was that I stopped doing research and reading other blogs to provoke and stimulate my mind. Now I admit most of my research was on obesity but you just can’t avoid stumbling on stuff that aggravates you when you’re doing research.

Any mother will tell of the anxiety they had over Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). When our first child slept thought the night the first time, my wife paced the room all night long worrying that her baby had died because she failed to keep him sleeping on his back. At the time, SIDS was blamed on neglect, abuse, unwanted children, poverty and other ugly reasons. New research shows that the cause is probably a birth defect which can be tested for and hopefully cured. So what if we had a few generations of guilt ridden mothers who thought they had abused or neglected their children while scientists were looking for the true cause. This is probably the price you have to pay for scientific progress.

I just love the most recent work on post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Seems some genius studied ghetto kids and kids from the suburbs and related PTSD to IQ. The higher the IQ the better the ability to handle stress. Christ this is really blaming the victim – If you can’t cope with stress you must be dumb.

Scientific American: High IQs May Help Thwart Post-Traumatic Stress

The problem is – from my own personal experience – it just isn’t true. My wife and I have similar IQ’s as do our two very successful children. All of us have different levels of verbal and analytical skills and various responses to stress.
We were all exposed to a Force 4 hurricane that spun off tornadoes with gusts up to 200 miles per hour for over 20 hours. When we came out the next day, five of six adjacent houses were gone and the other half of our duplex was gone. The next week had pandemic community wide looting and a sense of lawlessness prevailed. Power was out for six weeks and the phone and television were down for six months. I got dengue.

My son reveled in exploring the brave new world he was facing. He bartered food for the family, rode his bike to observe all the chaos he could and the only negative effect was he partied hearty. My daughter made it past the storm but when everyone started screaming about whether people should steal or starve, she asked to go to the States to live with her uncle. Today she still makes rapid decisions and still has a temper.

Since that decision to flee when she was 10, she has become aggressive and is more likely to fight than flee. Now when it comes to my wife, it’s an entirely different story. She shuts down and goes catatonic. After we lost our roof in a next hurricane and all the family possessions were damaged and wet she refused to return to the house and pick through the rubble to salvage anything including her wedding gown. I went to work and saved whatever I could, including the wedding gown, which I cleaned and sent for preservation and our daughter was married in it.

Now I assert that all this has nothing to do with brains or analytical power but with nurturing. My wife is the most sensitive to stress and just doesn’t like it. Maybe her high IQ is suggesting that in the choice between fight and flight, its time to leave. There is nothing wrong with her brain and she realizes that her solution may be impracticable but avoiding conflict and stress will always be her first choice.

I might suggest that the nurturing aspect came when her father died at age 12 and her mother faced the task of working and raising two kids alone. There wasn’t much time or energy to be soft and cuddly and nurture her daughters. In my case, my mom was always there in a soft and cuddly way to protect her brood. My wife and I were there for our two children and they can handle stress.

Now with apples being not to far from apple trees, and regression towards the norm and all that – lower IQ kids are probably the product of lower IQ parents who are struggling for survival and just don’t understand the need or have the time to nurture their kids. Ergo, PTSD is more likely to be a product of family environment and the ability to nurture than simply IQ.

Now this may not seem like an earth shattering revelation, but instead of treating our mentally scarred troops as being sub-human retards like John Kerry suggested, we should recognize that stress disorders are real and have their origins in unresolved suffering that may predate the military experience.

Thank God for Weight Loss Plateau’s

November 6, 2006

Its normal for people on a diet to bitch about weight loss plateaus. This is the body’s natural tendency to fight any big weight loss. As you start eating less, you start digesting more and processing the food you do eat more efficiently. Now where the “Thank God” part comes in is when you give up there is no immediate weight gain. I stopped dieting about a month ago when I was an artificial 215. In the first week my weight jumped to 220 and has hovered between 218 and 223 (BMI=34)with absolutely no effort.

Yesterday I ate ½ pound cheddar cheese, pretzels, beer, wine and rum along with a dinner of sweetbreads for an appetizer and a duck melody containing a duck palif, duck liver pate and duck pastrami served on plenty of bread. Think I did a predinner snack of cold greasy kielbasi. Any way it was a “See Food” day where if I saw it I ate it – oh yeah I forgot the 2 dozen large gourmet black and green olives, the apple, and two bell peppers.

Guess what? I wake up and do my morning weigh-in and I’m still 220 – you got to love those plateau’s on the way up as much as you hate them on the way down.

My doctor told me on Saturday to stop tormenting my body and get back on the diet or one weekend I’ll wake up with a quick 30 pound gain and have to work like hell to drop it. I’ve only done that about 100 times in my life. Unfortunately, I’m going to visit my daughter and son-in-law and I love to party with him, so I probably won’t get serious about the Fat Savage Diet until I get back. And yes my biggest jumps alway occur after a week vacation with nothing to do but eat and drink. In paradise, I spent a large part of yesterday working and then in the sea for a soak and swim and then in the naturally heated solar pool to relax. My accidental exercise in paradise in a day is more that I do in cold weather in a week.